Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
