shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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