There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
