I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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