dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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