I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
