Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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