I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
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im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
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I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.