I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
