I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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