since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize