her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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