i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You pole danced in your parka.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
