I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
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and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
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He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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