I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think a kid would responsible me up
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
