I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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