Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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