didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
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He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
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My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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