i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
