I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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