i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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