My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Randomize
