We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
