Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
