I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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