so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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