never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize