Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Also, beer. Big fan.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
