my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
