i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
