we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
one might say we're banned from that church
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
