I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
