Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize