Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
