I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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