Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
