I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
