Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
