saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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