and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
