he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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