I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize