I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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