Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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