I've blown a few things in my day
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
