I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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