did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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