So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm both gender and math confused
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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