oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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