He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
