I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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