So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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