Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
