There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize