Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
