Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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