Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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