Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
