is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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