you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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