is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have feelings that need drinking.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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